Hello! How are you? Thanks once again for joining me! Let’s jump right in. You’re busy.
It’s Waiting For You…
That’s right, I can finally reveal the cover for In The Dark of the Grove, my new book coming from Gurt Dog Press this October!
More about the book:
Discover the Dark Heart of America's Heartland
Essen, Indiana never felt like home to Kyle Thomas. Now, as he returns fifteen years after he was kicked out for being gay, he finds it stranger than ever. His novelist father, days after releasing his newest book—Dunbar’s Grove—committed suicide. And most people think his father’s book was a thinly-disguised confession to the murder of Kyle’s mother years before.
A mysterious note in his father’s old typewriter points to a secret the town is keeping. How did this little town in the middle of nowhere get so much money? What does the elite Minty Green Club have to do with it?
Kyle decides to put his investigative journalist skills to the test, reconnecting with old friends and running into old foes. The closer he gets to the town’s secrets, the fewer people he can trust and the more every trail seems to lead to the mysterious grove of trees outside of town.
I’m really excited with how the cover turned out. Gurt Dog has a particular, illustrated style for their books. After doing the illustrations for my video storybook The Wolf Prince & The Toymaker’s Boy, I was feeling more confident in my illustration abilities. I sent the team at Gurt Dog a note saying “Hey, maybe I could do this myself?,” and was given the go-ahead to illustrate the cover. I was a little torn, if I’m honest. Part of me liked the idea of just seeing what someone else could come up with. But I got an idea in my head that just wouldn’t leave. And when that happens, it’s hard for me to shake. I’m really happy with the way it turned out. I’m excited to see what it all looks like in book form. Soon! So soon! Don’t worry, you’ll hear plenty more about the book as it’s get nearer to its publication date.
Currently Spinning
I love music. It’s an essential part of my life. So I thought I’d share the favorite albums/songs I’m listening to at the moment. For some reason, I feel like I’ve been listening to a lot of singles lately.
Bunny Is A Rider - Caroline Polachek
Polachek’s album Pang was fantastic. I was so happy to see her head out on her own after two very good albums with Chairlift. She has a really precise, unique point of view. The way she tackles subjects in her songs if fun to experience. Like some of her best songs, her new one communicates exactly what it should feel like even if the lyrics can feel obscured. The video has some video game energy.
Cure For Me - Aurora
I’ve been a fan of Aurora since her very first single. So I was excited for her new song. I didn’t really expect it to be such a bop. And the lyrics are fantastic. I found the video captivating.
How Not To Drown - Chvrches (feat. Robert Smith)
This is a weird one. This single came out a while back, and as much of a fan of Chvrches (and The Cure) as I am, it didn’t grab me. Then, the other day it came up on a playslist and I was totally drawn in. In fact, I think it’d make a good end credits song for the movie adaptation of In The Dark of the Grove. (A boy can dream, right?). The video is serving Matrix with late-80s Doctor Who video effects. I dig it.
Why the Hell Am I Doing This?
I think sometimes the hardest part of being a writer is to keep writing. And, by that, I don’t mean forcing yourself to write x number of words per night on your current piece. I mean, it’s hard to keep writing. At all. I don’t know if it gets easier once you have a solid audience—people who are engaged with your work and value it. That has to be a confidence boost. But when one is typing away at ones keyboard or scratching on paper with a pen* there are moments when one is gripped by a swirl of doubts and terrible thoughts:
Am I good enough?
Does anyone care?
Will anyone notice in today’s market?
____________________
(Hey, fellow writers, I left a blank so you can print this out and write your own, deepest, darkest, most terrible doubt or fear about your work. It’s fun!)
A terrible thought has moved into my mind
A giant rat that's nibbling on my pride
It's tearing away my patience and my wit
I must take proper measures set a trap for itfrom “Terrible Thought” by Poe
It is a challenge, at times, to battle this internal saboteur. And then there are the external saboteurs who—intentionally or unintentionally, try to strip your work of its value. It’s at this point that I try to focus on the “why” of it all. Why do I write? What do I want out of it? What are my fears about it centered on?
What I come back to, again and again, is that I write because I like it as a form of communication. Don’t get me wrong. The first major motivator for me is the love of storytelling. That magical feeling that I can think of an idea, a character, or a world, and then—with just my brain and my hands—turn it into something that I can share. It still astounds me sometimes. The sharing part is still important to me, though. I like to share stories with people, whether they are mine or someone else’s.
That’s why part of this endeavor will be, eventually, me sharing stories. Some short. Some long form. It’s a way to get my stories out into the world other than print publishing. Because what I’ve been doing for a long time is writing, writing, writing… and never getting to share. And that’s just not satisfying to me.
*I honestly cannot fathom writing with pen and paper. Even my nastiest chicken-scratch cursive can’t keep up with my brain while writing. I’d be so frustrated. Also, my hand cramps ups pretty quick from writing too long. Thank you, universe, for the computer.
Things I’ve Greatly Enjoyed
On my journal on my website, I had a semi-regular feature called “Things I’ve Greatly Enjoyed.” I’m moving that over here to this newsletter in a slightly adapted form. So let’s look at this month’s THINGS:
Transcendent Kingdom - Yaa Gyasi
Sometimes books come to you in weird ways. I was listening to a Patroon-only podcast from 372 Pages We’ll Never Get Back. This podcast is excellent, Mike Nelson and Conor Lastowka (from Rifftrax) read books they are pretty sure they will not enjoy and riff on them. It’s honestly a great sort of reverse writing class on what not to do with storytelling. Anyway, in this bonus episode with Conor and his wife (writer & editor Lauren Lastowka), she mentioned good books she’d recently read. Transcendent Kingdom was one of them.
I tracked down the book in hardcover, and was immediately drawn in and hooked. I read the book in days. It's a beautiful book that both simultaneously presents a window into a world that I do not know, while touching on things that felt intimately familiar. The ending, in particular, felt note perfect.
The Green Knight
I have been eagerly awaiting the release of this movie. I’m generally a fan of A24. They have a great track record when it comes to releasing interesting movies that I end up loving. The marketing and trailers were fantastic. And then, COVID-19 hit and the movie was delayed. But, it’s finally here and it’s gorgeous. You can read my full review on Letterboxd.
The White Lotus
If you’ve not experienced Mike White’s storytelling before in things like The Good Girl, The Year of the Dog, or Enlightened, then A) You’re in for a treat or B) You may not be into it. Not everyone is into his sensibility, it seems. Enlightened, despite starring the ever-amazing Laura Dern, was horrifically ignored. The White Lotus seems to be fairing better, as it just got renewed for a second season. Which makes me happy, because I love White’s voice. He has a way of digging into characters and capturing them in a way that I admire. His characters are not always easy to take in. They are often not “likable” in the traditional sense. Sometimes you’re not sure how to emotionally react to them. Which I love, but can also be uncomfortable.
Scenes from Gay Domesticity
True snippets of my life with my partner.
The Burden That Be / June 22, 2010:
Paul: "Who is the lead singer from The Burden That Be."
Me: "Huh?"
Paul: "The lead singer from The Burden That Be."
Me: "From what?"
Paul: "The Burden That Be."
Me (frantically trying to figure out what The Burden That Be is... a musical? A band? And then, the proper synapses finally fire...): "Ohhhhh. The Bird and The Bee! Inara George!"
Your Monthly Memorable Internet Image
A not-by-me image I stumbled upon.
Final Thoughts
I was going to, at some point, write in depth about why I am starting this up, and why I desperately want an alternative to social media. But James Tynion IV does a fantastic job of doing so on his Substack. His thoughts greatly mirror mine. Sure, I’m not an established creator. I have no fat grant from Substack. And it’s going to be harder for those of us who aren’t established, I’m sure. But rather than post on Twitter about how terrible Twitter is. Or doing the same on Facebook, I like the idea of doing something about it. Or, at the very least, trying. Until next time.